Oliver & Me

WEEK TWENTY - FINAL POSTING

2009-10-05T03:58:00.000-07:00

In the quiet moments of early evening, while I rocked to sleep my little babe I am struck by the fact that although it’s been only five short months since Oliver has been with us, he has already brought a feeling of completeness to my life. For all the tears, frustrations and sleepless nights, his smiles, laughter and look of wonder while discovering the world, have brought me more joy then I ever could have imagined. As he slept in my arms I was overcome by a moment of peaceful harmony between mother and child. It truly is the hardest job in the world, but also the most rewarding. As cliché as that is, it's the truth. My husband and I feel so blessed that we could have created such a wonderful little boy, and we look forward to whatever the future may hold for our family.

Tip
Buy a pair of earplugs and after baby's in bed for the night, hand of the monitor to hubby and pop those earplugs in! This will allow you at least a couple of hours to completely shut off, without resting on autopilot. And don't worry, your husband WILL come get you if he needs you. This I guarantee!

Happy Parenting!

-Oliver's Mom

WEEK NINETEEN

2009-09-28T09:19:00.000-07:00

So, as it turns out my little Oliver probably has GER or Gastroesophageal Reflux. After coming to the conclusion something else was going on besides teething, my husband and I decided to take him to the doctor. Turns out he pretty much had all the symptoms for reflux. We have since started him on medication and hopefully we will see an improvement and he can find some comfort. I read online that elevating the crib at one end can help as well, so we're also trying that. Oliver has started taking a liking to his cereal. Now when we feed him he opens his mouth up wide anticipating the next bite. It's really quite cute. And he is getting so big. He's so long now that he is wearing 12 month clothing. Yup, you heard me right! It's amazing how fast they grow, and I find it a little sad that I'm beginning to forget what it was like to hold him as a wee baby. It is such an exciting stage though. He has become so much more observant and curious about everything. I bought a Heart to Heart sling to use when he's awake and wants to be held on my hip. I like the sling for this purpose because of the extra padding and structure. This way he gets to watch as I do things like make his bottles, which he seems to be fascinated by.

2009-09-21T09:28:00.000-07:00

Oh, what a week this has been! My poor Oliver appears to be in full teething mode. It has been a week of VERY long nights and plenty of desperation trying to figure out what is troubling my little man. The week started with Oliver refusing to eat

from his bottle. He was becoming very frustrated at feeding time. I had been using a slow-flow nipple, so I thought I would try a nipple with a quicker flow – fast, but not too fast. I thought this would be a piece of cake. Then I discovered Playtex doesn't make a medium-flow nipple. So, I bought the fast-flow nipples and of

course they were way too fast for him and as a result he was practically choking on his food. Arrrrrg! So after calling a number of stores around the city an

d getting advice from many people, I tried making the slow-flow nipples bigger with a pin. I don't know if it actually did anything because he continued to fuss. In the end we tried a different type of fast-flow nipples and eventually he got the hang of it. Now he is eating at a better pace, minus the choking.

A lot of frustration could have been saved this week if we could have just found a medium-flow nipple! I'm sure I'm not the only person to go through this.

While spending the week at my parents’ house, the nighttime nightmares began. Oliver would wake up wailing minutes after being put to bed. And then, like clockwork, he would pretty much wake up every 45 minutes all through the night. I was lucky to have my mother with me and – believe me – we tried everything we could think of to offer him some relief. In the end we found that a little baby Anbesol would ease the pain and calm him down. Sadly, this is no long term solution and the teething gel can only be applied a few times a day. But it really helped when he was experiencing s

evere pain. I've ordered an amber teething necklace online, because apparently baltic amber has great healing properties.

We'll see...I hope it helps. I'll try anything at this point to bring Oliver some relief. I'm lucky that at least he takes really long naps in his sling, because otherwise I would have an exhausted baby on my hands.

On a positive note...Oliver rolled over, from back to front, for the first time this week! He's like a little turtle when he rolls over, because once on his stomach he starts flailing about trying to get on his back again. Needless to say we're very proud of him!

WEEK SEVENTEEN

2009-09-14T08:49:00.000-07:00

So much happened this week I don't even know where to begin. It's as though by hitting four months, suddenly Oliver has morphed into a different little baby. He's staying awake for longer periods of time during the day now and his schedule is starting to become a bit more predictable. I've actually been using a sleep tracker program I found online to monitor his sleep patterns. It's interesting to see the similarities from day to day.
My husband and I decided to try giving him cereal for the first time this week. When we put the first spoonful in his mouth the look on his face was priceless. It was a combination of disgust and confusion. I think more ended up on him them in him, but we keep trying a little bit every day. I decided to taste it to see what the fuss was about, and the cereal is actually quite nasty....no wonder he was making faces! At this point he seems more intrigued by the side of his high chair then the food, and I don't blame him -- it's not very tasty.
We also got an exersaucer for him. Just a warning: when starting your baby in one of these contraptions, do it for just a few minutes at a time at first as it has the potential to BLOW THEIR MINDS! After about five minutes of Oliver being in it the first time, he became so wound up I thought his head was going to explode! So the next time I actually took all the toys off and got him used to being in the saucer without the distractions. Recently I added a couple of toys and he seems to be managing a bit better.
If you've been reading then you know what a constant battle Oliver's gas has been for us. Well this week my sister-in-law found me these wonder tablets from Hylands that have been a lifesaver. After giving him a dose, the gas comes right out and he seems so much happier. It has helped extend our morning sleep time and, because it's a homeopathic product, I don't have to worry about giving him any synthetic products or additives.
This week I've also been experimenting with putting Oliver in his crib for naps during the day. With the help of a full body swaddle I've actually been having some success! So far an hour-and-a-half is our longest stretch. I think that's pretty good for a little boy who would only nap in his sling. Don't get me wrong – the sling is great for cat naps and I still love having him close to me, but when he takes a two-hour nap, his 17-pound body can really do a number on my back!
It's been an exciting week in our house, and I can't wait to see what tomorrow will bring.

WEEK SIXTEEN

2009-09-07T10:45:00.000-07:00

At Oliver's four-month doctor appointment it was obvious he had grown since our last visit. He now weighs 16 lbs and is 26.5 inches tall. He's a big guy!I can't believe that the summer has come and gone already. I remember being pregnant and thinking how great it was going to be to have the summer off. And now it's almost over! Time goes by far too quickly...
My favorite of Oliver's recent developments has to be his infectious laugh. My husband and I can now really get him going – we've got it down to a science. As I'm sure most parents would agree, your baby's first laugh is the most wonderful, hilarious sound you will ever hear! In addition to his recently discovered laugh, he has also continued to coo and chirp incessantly, as if he is trying to find his voice. He LOVES to make high-pitched screeching noises. It's very amusing to watch and interact with him now.
I've never been one to engage in conversation with strangers on the street, but since having Oliver I find he has become a magnet for conversation, especially with other mothers. It's as though you are automatically enrolled in the 'Mommy Club' when you have a child. I love it. I think it's great that when you have a child suddenly all social awkwardness passes and you can share the common bond of motherhood with fellow women. Motherhood seems to defy race, religion and social stature and simply connects us together. It's a beautiful thing. I find it funny, though, that after these mini encounters the closing salutation is usually "well, good luck!" I guess, quite frankly, every mother knows a little luck is needed to be a parent. After sharing these experiences I always wonder, should I have gotten their phone number? Email address? Maybe they are like me and don't have a lot of friends with babies. Would that be weird? What would I say? "Call me sometime, we should hook up! " It's like dating all over again!

WEEK FIFTEEN

2009-08-30T08:50:00.001-07:00

Well folks, it's official, Oliver has started teething. The first indication was the fact that anything that came remotely close to his mouth he would snatch up and immediately try to gnaw down on it. If it didn't fit in his mouth, it ended up on the floor. The second clue was his fussiness. In general Oliver tends to be a pretty happy-go-lucky baby, so when the crankiness started it became very apparent that something was up. His awake time also became a narrower period of time before he lost it all together and needed a nap. And of course when he was napping in his sling, he would know the minute I'd sit down or make too much noise...my poor back! The other symptom which became of some concern was the fact that he was holding and tugging at his ear, sometimes while crying out in pain. We had a couple of rough nights, as the pain was waking him up. It's so awful to see your little baby in pain. His cry sounded so sad, it made me cry! Thinking I was smart, I put all his soothers in the freezer, and he seemed to really like this. Well, after a call to TeleHealth to talk about giving him Tylenol at night, I was informed by a very polite nurse that I should stop putting his soothers in the freezer because it could cause frostbite on his gums. What a wonderful mother I am! That's probably why it felt so good too him. I was freezing his gums altogether!! So, I just want to get the word out there...teething toys in the fridge only...

I keep trying to get a look and see if something is coming through, but between his tongue sticking out and the constant wiggling, it's impossible to get a good look. I wish I would have felt his gums more when he was smaller so I'd have something to compare to. We ended up taking Oliver to the clinic just to be sure that he didn't have an ear infection, and he got a clean bill of health. This is just another side effect of the teething.

Every week my girlfriend (and her daughter) and I try to get together for a play date. Well, her daughter plays (she's 14 months) and Oliver watches her play with his toys. This weekly get-together is so important to my mental well being. I think it gives both of us a chance to reconnect with the adult realm, have a cup of coffee, compare notes, and have a few good laughs. The days can be pretty long when you are at home with a baby, so I really look forward to these get-togethers to break up the week. Highly recommended.

WEEK FOURTEEN

2009-08-22T16:39:00.001-07:00

Oliver is becoming a seasoned traveler. This week he had his first airplane adventure, as we flew to Winnipeg to visit family. Nobody wants to be the parent of “that screaming baby on the plane,” so of course I was slightly nervous about this venture. Luckily I flew with my dad as backup and it was comforting to know that the person sitting next to me was on my team. Bravo to those of you that do this alone, because for me it was necessary, and less stressful to have four hands. I was pleasantly surprised how well Oliver did! He ended up sleeping most of the time in the sling. The incredible thing about traveling with a baby is that people jump out of everywhere to offer a helping hand. For instance, having to pick up my baggage by myself (in a secured area where no family is permitted), there I was with Oliver in the sling, carrying a car seat, diaper bag and bottle bag while trying to figure out how to get a cart. Luckily a very nice older gentleman came to my assistance and did everything for me. My confidence in humanity was renewed this week by many friendly, compassionate people.
It must be hard being a baby. They have so much pressure to perform all the time. As parents we have all been in the situation where somebody gets right up close to your baby's face and says "how about a smile?” Then, when your baby fails to deliver, you receive the questioning look. "Aww no smile?" Then we scramble..."Oh, he's teething; he has a gassy stomach today; he just woke up from a nap; he didn't sleep well last night; it's almost nap time; he's hungry. The list goes on. Sure it could be one of these reasons, or maybe he just doesn't feel like smiling right now. Why do we feel pressure to make excuses for our baby's mood? I myself am guilty of doing this, but I think I want to start a revolution on behalf of my son. The next time I feel pressured to make an excuse on behalf of Oliver, I'm going to simply shrug and say "he's a baby, what more can I say?"

WEEK THIRTEEN

2009-08-15T09:07:00.000-07:00

I can't believe that my baby is three months old already. The time really DOES go by fast!

Feeling brave this week, I decided to go for a swim and try out the child minding program at the YMCA by my house. It's a really great program that they've got going on there. You can leave your baby while you work out, giving you some much needed down time and exercise during the day. It was really nice to have that time to let go of everything for an hour, knowing my baby was safe, and focus on having a good workout. I still enjoy our morning walks, but was finding I was putting too much pressure on myself (and Oliver) to use them as my workout. I don't like getting frustrated if Oliver decides to get fussy in his stroller one day because I'm not going to get my exercise. I'm thinking that our walks should be saved for enjoying the fresh air and sights and sounds of the day. So, I'm trying to come up with another routine to drop some of this baby weight since winter is on it's way (depressing I know...) and you all know what that means...an extra ten pounds is headed my way if I don't act now!

We had another exciting first this week. I decided that Oliver was ready to try his Jolly Jumper. I think it must have been very strange for him, because he didn't really know what to make of it! He hasn't figured out the actual jumping part yet, but enjoys being upright, moving around and kicking his legs. So cute! Every week that goes by he becomes more aware of his surroundings. He watches me move around the room, following with his eyes. Getting out and about is also becoming easier as he responds more now to the sound of my voice. If he starts to freak out in public I can usually calm him down simply by talking to him, which is a refreshing change.

I think he hit another growth spurt this week, as the crazy feeding frenzies started again. It's very difficult to explain patience to a screaming three month old while you're preparing a bottle. I couldn't get it to him fast enough!

WEEK TWELVE

2009-08-08T10:13:00.000-07:00

We've all heard the expression "it takes a village to raise a child". What I would like to know is, when did this change from reality to a saying? When did it change from a village to a mom at home all day alone with baby? This week I didn't find a village, but I found my Mom. What a difference it makes to have somebody available to tag team with all day. I think I'll be lost when it comes time to head home again. I'm getting far to used to going to the bathroom without having to tote little Oliver along with me, or taking a nap when I need one. I really think lions have it going on. The whole pack mentality and all...
Everything really got put into perspective when one of my childhood friends came to visit. She is the same age as me and has three children under the age of three. I am blown away by this. Here I am moaning and groaning about all my little tribulations and she's running a full household full time. Whew! I tip my hat off to her and all others in the same boat as I don't think I'd have the stamina and strength to pull that off. So, as I sip my chardonnay while Oliver naps in his sling, I'm thinking one is just fine thank-you! I think Oliver may be beginning to teethe. He's chomping so hard on his Sophie I'm afraid he's going to gum those little antlers right off. We'll have to see what the weeks bring. If anyone has any tips for teething babies, please feel free to send them in! So 'Lamby' saved the day once again. Oliver has started a new game called 'let's fight our naps until we scream and fall asleep. Sounds like fun doesn't it? So after a half hour of dealing with a fussy boy with red droopy eyelids, I yank Lamby out of the playpen, turn her on and tuck her in the sling with Oliver. And wouldn't you know it...he was out like a light. This is definitely something I DON'T want to turn into a habit, but, sometimes as a mom you get desperate and as a friend has told me many a time 'you do what you got to do to survive!'

WEEK ELEVEN

2009-08-03T12:30:00.000-07:00

Oliver is experimenting with his voice. The squeals that come out of him now crack me up. He is turning out to be a very vocal littlebaby. We have full conversations him and I. None of it makes sense to me but he sure gets a kick out of it! Not only has he discovered his voice, but his mouth as well. He wants to put everything in his mouth, especially his hands. Sometimes I can hear him sucking on them from the other room. I broke down and bought a ‘Sophie the Giraffe” and he loves it! Because she is so light, it’s easy for him to hold onto. He has also started reaching towards his toys, and exploring them with his hands.

Tired of Oliver’s constant battle with a gassy tummy, my husband and I decided to switch his formula. I don’t know if it’s too early to say this…and I hope I’m not jinxing it, but I think it’s

helping! He’s been sleeping better at night, and actually slept in his crib from four in the morning until six (whereas I usually have to sleep in the glider with him because of gas pains.) When he slept for five hours in a row, and then six and a half…I nearly died of happiness and restfulness. I’m really hoping that this isn’t a fluke thing and that maybe he’s on his way to waking only twice a night. Wishful thinking? I guess we’ll see! His sleep schedule is definitely starting to develop a rhythm.

It’s not always exactly the same every day but I have a general idea of when he likes to have his long naps.

Of course, as he grows it will change, but for now it’s nice to know what the rhythm of my day looks like. For the first time since he was born, I’m actually feeling rested and not completely sleep deprived. At the end of the day, I’m not so desperate for bed anymore and can spend some time alone with my husband.

This week Oliver had his first big road trip as we drove up to Sudbury to visit both sets of grandparents. He was a very good

traveller, sleeping most of the way. We stopped half way for a diaper change and a good stretch. The poor little guy did have some tummy trouble that day from being in the car seat for so long, but overall the whole experience went a lot smoother then expected. Oliver and I are looking forward (well maybe mostly me...) to spending the week at my parents. I'm excited for them to spend some time with this busy little guy, and maybe catch up on some zzz's!

WEEK TEN

2009-07-25T07:03:00.000-07:00

There is something very primal about a mother/baby relationship. It’s amazing how a mother’s touch can soothe when nobody else’s can. My poor husband found this out when he volunteered to watch Oliver so that I could go see a movie (so nice to get away for awhile, highly recommended if you can do it!). It was the longest I had been away from him and the longest my husband had been alone with him without having me in the vicinity. He did an AMAZING job. But unfortunately because Oliver is so accustomed to having his naps snuggled up to mommy in his sling I was setting things up for disaster. Let’s just say that if I want to go see a movie again it has to be a night show! It really is amazing how quickly and simply my holding him can calm Oliver. I’m not trained specially in this. I’m not doing anything particularly different from other people, but somehow deep down inside there is a bond there between Oliver and me that is unique and precious and I am beginning to love this special relationship that only the two of us share. This week as Oliver had his first round of booster shots. I was very nervous going to the doctor because I had read and heard from other people how painful this is for them and how painful it is as a mother to watch. My little man was very brave and strong and only cried when the needle was going in. He spent the rest of the day in his sling or my arms and was actually smiling and cooing by the end of it. All I can suggest to parents taking a baby in for boosters is to take a deep breath and be strong for your little munchkin as they are going to look to you for comfort. At his appointment we found out Oliver is in the 75th percentile for length, weight and head circumference. He’s a big guy! Because he’s getting so big I’m starting to find it harder on my back to carry him. I discovered its imperative I wash my sling every night as it has some stretch to it and by the end of the day it sags too low. This has helped keep him higher up on my body making for less backache at night. I would recommend doing this to anyone who using a sling or wrap with a bit of give to it.

WEEK NINE

2009-07-17T18:47:00.000-07:00

As I found out this week you can't call in sick when you're a mom. When a cold (or throat infection as the case may be) strikes there will be no sleeping it off or curling up on the couch in pj's with a cup of tea watching a movie. Nope, when you get sick you have to pull out your supermom super human strength and keep on going. And that's just what I did. Of course I had a few weak 'pity me' moments but I was surprised just how far you can push yourself if you have to. I just hope that the little guy doesn't get sick. I keep checking his temperature obsessively for fear that he may get a fever. Luckily, he seems healthy as always (knock on wood).

It's amazing as the weeks chug on how I find myself more in tune with Oliver's cues and quirks. I can now sense the difference between hunger and when he wants to cozy up in the sling a lot quicker then I used to. I can see a fussy spell inch up slowly and hopefully alleviate any discomfort before it turns into full blown hysteria. This whole new level of observance has relieved some of the stress in my day and his. It has also brought on new confidence. Now if he freaks out in a store I no longer break out in a sweat and rush for the nearest exit. Instead I have no problem calmly taking him out of his stroller and plopping him in the sling. This week I even tried on jeans with him in the sling. Have I mentioned how much I love that sling??? I find myself not feeling sooo self-conscience as a new mother and therefore, am able to get out and do a bit more with him.

It's very sweet how this week he's really discovered his hands. He now clasps them together purposefully and puts them in his mouth. He also spends a lot of time just looking at them. I can't image what this must be like... to suddenly realize that you have control over these limbs that have been flaying about in front of your face for your whole life. No wonder he looks at them so intently. It must blow his mind!

I have a new favorite product this week. My ottoman. I love my glider, but I find after a certain point my knees become sore and I become so fidgety. No matter how tired I am I can't seem to dose off in it; which would have some in handy some of those long sleepless nights. Up until this week I've actually been using a diaper box as an ottoman (chic I know...) but it just wasn't cutting it. So when I got one this week that actually glided, it was the difference between night and day. Literally. Now instead of getting up with the birds (which start chirping at 3:30am by the way) I'm getting up with the sun. When Oliver started fussing because of gas at four in the morning, instead of bringing him down stairs and starting our day I've been rocking him in the glider and we both manage to get an extra hour of sleep or so. I love it!! Because of this, we are both much more pleasant when its actually time to get up. I always thought that the ottoman was kinda silly to get, but no longer! For all the time I've spent and am going to spend in that chair, it's defiantly worth it to have something comfortable to put your feet up on and catch some extra zzz's.

Getting better at tummy time!

WEEK EIGHT

2009-07-17T18:37:00.000-07:00

My little Oliver is growing so quickly it’s incredible. I have literally watched his eyebows grow in with every feeding. This week has been amazing for developments. He is so much more aware this week I feel that he is taking in everything that I say and do. He studies all the features of my face intently as I read and talk to him. For the first time I feel like he is really listening to me so I talk to him constantly through the day, not feeling so silly anymore. I tell him about everything that I’m doing. “mommy’s just making your bottles I’ll be done in a minute,” “Mommy’s just shaving her legs so she doesn’t look like a hairy monkey, do you know what noise a monkey makes?” He reacts to my voice with different coos and awws. He has suddenly gone from a little ball of flesh to my newest companion. He looks at the pictures in his book as I read to him kicking his legs with excitement. He loves looking at the pictures. And best of all are the smiles. Oh the smiles. They give me butterflies.

One after noon I was feeding him on the couch watching a bit of tv. After a minute or two, I glanced down at him and the bottle was out of his mouth and he was looking up at me his eyes big and bright, a huge toothless grin on his face. I did what any mother would do in that scenario; I started crying of course! I am so in love with this little creature, and for all the fussiness, crying and lack of sleep (which is still an on going battle) this moment made everything so far worth it.

This week also saw the swing become my new best friend and loathed enemy all in one day. I was so pleased when I put Oliver in his swing after it had been folded up for weeks and he actually liked it! Not only did he like it he fell asleep in it. A miracle! Thank goodness it wasn’t going to go to waste. I think he likes it better now because he can actually see the little mobile more clearly as he became mesmerized by the spinning sea creatures. I even managed a little cat nap while he was in it…amazing.

So when he woke up at 4:30 one morning and wouldn’t go back to sleep, I scooped him up and brought him downstairs and buckled him in for a ride back to la-la land.

This is where my feelings towards the swing took a drastic turn for the worst. As I’ve mentioned my baby is not one for gentle motion. Remember the vigorous bouncing and rocking? Well, then of course it should come as no surprise that he will only sit in the swing if it’s on level 6. Now, my question to you and the swing makers out there is why does it take the thing so bloody long to kick into level 6?!? So here I am holding the soother in Olivers mouth, shushing in his ear watching the arm of the swing sloooowly warm up and slooowing start ticking as he starts squirming and kicking impatiently. I am loosing time fast. I know it’s all over when his face turns a lovely shade of red and he starts wailing. This baby will wait for no man…or swing as the case may be. Biting down hard on the back of his soother I pick up my screaming baby cursing the blasted thing and give it a good kick. I know it didn’t help matters but it sure made me feel better.

**END NOTE**

I would like to make a formal apology to all the swings and ‘swing makers’ out there. As it turns out the batteries were nearly dead. I have now added ‘put batteries in the charger’ to my nightly list of chores to avoid further abuse to my swing and my foot.

WEEK SEVEN

2009-07-17T18:14:00.000-07:00

Babies are so unpredictable. Just when you think you’ve got it goin’ on, they throw you a curve ball. I had been really getting into the groove of going for these really long walks when one day Oliver decided he’d had enough. We were strolling through a quiet neighborhood early (6:30am) one morning when he started fussing. So I stopped and put his soother in his mouth. Fine, kept going. Then he starts crying. Maybe he’s hungry? So I pull out the bottle and try to feed him. No good. That’s when he starts wailing. Not just crying, but the red faced sweaty screaming. Looking around me, and trying to remain calm as an elderly couple walk pass giving me the ‘ahhh what a pity look’ I scoop him out of the stroller and start bouncing him. When this doesn’t work I put him in the sling (which I always take everywhere with me, for just such an occasion) and start making my way home. He falls asleep immediately. Now you might be thinking ‘big deal, maybe he was just having a bad moment, or day? What if I told you that this continued to be the pattern for the next three days. He’s shattered my stroller confidence! So now instead of hitting the trail, I do smaller laps around the neighborhood, never straying to far in case I have to carry him home.

Because of all of Oliver's gassy issues, I was very pleased that this week's massage lessons where geared toward the stomach. It was also the first week they recommended removing his diaper for the massage. Of course I was apprehensive about this, considering the amount of times that I have been peed on over the past weeks.. So when it came time for the massage I made sure I had a big receiving blanket to clamp down over that thing if it decided to spring a leak. I was pleasantly surprised that he only peeded once this week during his massage time, and I was ready for it! He’s very content while I rub his tummy, and I can only hope that it is going to help relieve some of those gas pains we’ve been battling with.

Oliver in his new high chair!

WEEK SIX

2009-07-17T18:05:00.000-07:00

What a week…

So as it turns out most babies will go through a big growth spurt in their 6th week, and Oliver was right on mark. Of course I didn’t realize this when the week started but when he suddenly started crying for food every hour I did a little online research. The crazy feeding days where followed by sleepy days, where it seemed as though he was sleeping all day, waking only to fuss and squirm and eat. As it turns out it is during this sleep time that they are doing their growing, and because they are growing at such a rapid rate it can actually be very uncomfortable for them, hence the fussiness. And man was he fussy. He would constantly make this ‘ehhh’ noise ALL day. Not content but not crying... really did a number on my nerves. At the same time I couldn’t help feel sorry for the little monster. It was a very long week, especially since it seems my days are now starting at 3:30 in the morning. It’s around this time that he starts wiggling around in his crib, crying out with gas pains, wide awake. So, I take him down stairs and put him in his bouncy chair, which I’ve discovered among other things is GREAT for him to sit in and let out all his gas. I don’t know if it’s the mesh or the angle, and frankly I don’t care, all I know is that when I put him in there he seems to find instant relief. We seem to have come to a morning understanding. He sits in his chair quietly, and I quietly read the morning news online (if it’s been posted yet…I know…sometimes I get up before the news…). There are days where not a peep is exchanged between us for a half hour. Then he goes in his sling (which I LOVE LOVE LOVE) and we both take an early morning nap. I really don’t know what I would do without this sling. It calms him to sleep immediately when he's tired and fussy, giving me the opportunity to nap or do some cleaning. These days I’ve been opting for the nap when ever I can get it. ‘Sleep when the baby sleeps’ had been told to be so many times before, but now it’s my new mantra.

One of my saving graces this week was that during his growing sleep days I was able to go for some really long walks with the stroller. I’m talking 2 hours long. It’s such a relief to be pretty much all healed up from surgery that I can start enjoying the nice weather we’ve been having. When I go for my walks I always take a bottle and he tends to wake up for a snack part way through. Lamby joins us in the stroller for these walks which I find helps him sleep and stay relaxed so I can be out longer. I know that getting him hooked on this little lamb sound machine is probably going to come back to kick me in the butt later, but right now it’s all about getting through the day, and if that means a little rain noise is required…so be it!

I’ve become interested in trying baby massage on Oliver. Especially since I’ve read that it can help relieve their gas pains. I watch some videos online, but then decide to go to Chapeters and see if I can find an instructional book. I find this great one which is part of the ‘teach yourself’ series called ‘baby massage and yoga’. It’s very simply laid out with a week by week learning schedule, and easy to follow instructions and diagrams. So, I pick up some sunflower oil and give it a go. Week one starts with the legs. At first i think it’s going to be tricky since Olivers legs are ALWAYS moving, but once I get going it seems to calm him and he actually stops kicking long enough for me to rub them down. I guess with all that kicking around a little rub down would feel pretty good. I find that it’s a really nice bonding time for the two of us and it’s an easy activity for me to do with him that helps break up our day together.

The highlight of this week amongst all the long nights and fussiness would have to be that Oliver had his first real big smile this week. And, of course it was at daddy! My husband is wonderful with Oliver. He gets right down there on the floor with him, singing and making voices. It was during one of these occasions that the biggest grin yet was cracked. We were both ecstatic!

WEEK FIVE

2009-07-17T17:55:00.000-07:00

Feeling that Oliver would like his stroller a lot more if he could be tilted up word instead of flat on his back all the time I decide to switch it from the bassinet to the seat and what a difference it has made. He is tolerating being in there now when wide awake which is a relief to me. The only thing that my husband and I find amusing is that the moment we go over any completely smooth surface he starts fussing. So when he starts getting fussy we go off roading onto the grass and it settles him right away. There is nothing delicate about this baby!

It’s wonderful to see how he is starting to focus more on our faces and objects in front of him. He has started to look at his toys and follow the noises they make. We even have caught a few little smiles! I believe his first smile was directed at a picture that hangs above the changing area we have set up on our main level. I’m so curious to know what it was about the picture that caused little Oliver to crack a grin.

It seems as though my life is beginning to revolve around Oliver’s gas. It is becoming the bain of my existence and his. I feel so helpless when his little face gets all contorted and red while he pushes his legs up to his tummy. It seems that every morning now he wakes up with bad gas pains. We’ve tried giving him grip water out of a little cup (which he laps up enthusiastically with his little tongue) and it seems to be helping relieve some of the pressure. It’s a good day when my baby’s tootn’!!

I will be the first to admit that my boy seems to have a big head. Apparently this is fairly common with c-sections as they don’t have to squeeze through the birth canal. So when its tummy time I almost feel sorry for the little guy. I can see the frustration in his eyes “you want me to do what? Lift this big ol’ thing off the floor? You’ve got to be kidding!’ But every day we do it for a few minutes and I start to see an improvement and he seems to be getting less frustrated with every attempt. It’s all about timing. You have to do this when they’re in a good mood, otherwise they get frustrated very easily and don’t enjoy it at all.

This week I read some really good advice online that I would like to share. If your baby is tired and fighting sleep, rock them facing a blank wall. That way they have nothing to over stimulate them and they tend to nod off. I took this advice and applied it to my sling by putting a cotton blanket over top of Oliver when he's fighting sleep. It works like a charm, and usually within a few minutes (instead of a half hour) he's asle

WEEK FOUR

2009-07-17T12:56:00.000-07:00

I find that its absolutely essential to my mental well being that I get out of the house every day and go for a walk. Especially in the morning after the long, sometimes frustrating nights. I have also discovered that I am becoming addicted to having a morning coffee! Due to my lack of confidence with the stroller I pull out the Baby Bjorn carrier that my sister in law gave me and start using it to go for short walks. (my incision is still sore so I can’t go as far as I’d like to.) I find that the Bjorn offers more support while walking then the sling. My new routine seems to be feed Oilver and them make my way to the starbucks, which is about a ten minute walk, get a coffee and then make my way home before he can stir. I find that it’s just long enough to get me out of the house but not too long that I have to worry about bringing a whole diaper bag. I tell myself everyday that it’s okay to pay $3.40 every day for a tall coffee frappicino…that I deserve it for working so hard. Well that lasts to the end of the week when I decide that maybe I should be walking the Tim Horton's instead, after all mat leave EI doesn’t pay THAT much. I’ll save Starbucks for those really tough days.

My husband has been the one giving Oliver his baths, and this week decides that he is done with the bath tub. We decide to bathe him right in the kitchen sink instead, and it’s a hit. Oliver loves being submerged in the water and actually stops squirming and becomes relaxed and calm. He loves being the water and doesn’t even peep as he gets his bath now.

I had heard so much about how great swings were for babies, and what a life saver they could be, and because my ankles were getting thick from bouncing Oliver in his chair all the time I decided to splurge and get one. And I don’t just get any swing…no, I get the deluxe model. A friend comes over and helps me assemble it, and we excitingly put Oliver in. He likes it for maybe two minutes and then starts squirming and crying. Wonderful. Well, hopefully it just takes some getting used to, or at least this is what I’m telling myself.

WEEK THREE

2009-07-17T11:05:00.000-07:00

Reality starts to set in…in a BIG way. The guests have all come and gone, my hubby is back at work, the adrenaline has worn off, and I’m tired. This is my life now. Gone are the care free days we used to enjoy. I find that I’m missing my husband. Yes we see each other, but all conversation is about how much sleep the other got. It becomes almost like a competition…’well I only got 3 hours’ I win. What have we done?? Having a baby looked so easy and wonderful from the outside. But now I’m on the inside and I know what all you mother’s have gone through. I have so much respect for all of you! Parenting is HARD WORK. I’m sure some people are better built for it then others but this week I was wondering ‘what have we gotten ourselves into??’ My baby isn’t one of these little bundles that likes to lie quietly in your arms. My guy likes to move. Constantly. I have him in the sling all the time bouncing, rocking. He knows the minute I sit down and starts stirring. When he’s not in the sling he’s in his bouncy chair. Sometimes he will sit quietly and look around (keep in mind that his legs are ALWAYS kicking) but for the most part because it doen’t move by itself I bounce it with my foot. This is the only way to get any dishes done! I have to say I love this chair. I bring it into the bathroom with me while I shower and he sits waiting for me to finish. I actually have time to shampoo AND condition AND shave my legs. I totally give the credit to Lamby. The shower sounds like the rain setting, so I think it automatically puts oliver in a calm state. I love it!

This week I have had it with sleeping on the couch. Not only do I miss sharing a bed with my husband, but it’s killing my back. I suddenly have visions of me still sleeping on the couch with a two year old and decide it’s time to make a real attempt at sleeping him in his crib. I start reading online about tips to get your baby to sleep in his crib, and being the desperate mom that I am I didn’t just apply one tip. I applied them all.

So when night time came there was little Oliver in his crib swaddled (just the legs, he hates having his arms restricted) lying in a posture roll that has been covered with the shirt I wore that day so that he can smell me and sleep sheep (or lamby to us) offering a nice white noise back ground of falling rain. If this doesn’t work I don’t know what will. And it does work. I crawl into my bed, which I haven’t seen for weeks and drift off into a nice peaceful sleep…for an hour or two.

WEEK TWO

2009-07-17T10:56:00.000-07:00

Visitors, visitors, visitors! I felt like I was becoming a pro at making my baby look like an angel. I would always time it so my little man was fed, changed, clean and asleep whenever somebody was coming over. God forbid they seem him cry, let alone see me try and deal calmly with him crying. I think that’s what I was most afraid of. Watchful eyes prying and judging as I take a little too long to comfort my own baby. So I kept up this routine until all family and friends had met him at least once in this perfect state. Just once to show them what an under control, wonderful mother I was! Look a bit closer and they would have seen the deliriously exhausted mom who didn’t have a clue what she was doing. Luckily my mom and dad were visiting this week to offer some relief. I LOVE my mom but I have to say it, she’s a neat freak. I am not a messy person by any means, but this doesn’t stop my mom front finding every spec of dirt in my house. Normally this has been a bone of contention between us…but now…I’ve never been so happy for her to clean everything!

‘You want to take everything out from beneath our kitchen sink and scub??’ That’s wonderful!! Unfortunately my dad has to leave early due to an illness in the family, but my mom decides to stay and I’m happy she does. It’s so nice to have her here with me while my husband returns to work. Somehow I feel closer to her now then ever before. It must be a mom thing.

We take Oliver for his first stroller ride. So far so good! I’m relieved because I’ve heard all these horror stories of babies hating their strollers, and since its coming on summer I’m relying on the stroller to get out and about, enjoy some fresh air, and hopefully loose some baby weight. The only thing is…he only really likes it when he’s sleeping…

It’s so important to have a scence of humour with a new baby. One day I was changing a VERY poopy diaper. And of course with Oliver’s squirmy kicking legs he managed to get poop all over his feet. That’s fine…I start wiping those off. Then he starts spitting up, and not just a little, but a lot… so I grab a wash cloth and start wiping that up. Then comes the pee. And not just a drizzle, but a shooting fountain straight in the air. It’s then that I have to take a step back with a hand on my little monster and start laughing saying to him ‘ I don’t even know where to begin!!’ You could very easily get frustrated in such a moment, but they are so little and helpless, and really don’t know any better There’s nothing you really can do but laugh.

Mid week my mom goes home and I’m left alone with my baby for the first time. Scary! I decide to put together the Baby Bjorn bouncy chair that was given to us and try him out in it. I’m so pleased when he sits in it quiet and content. Little did I know then that it would become my new best friend!

Babies require a lot of stuff for being so small. Just to get out the door is an ordeal! I find that I’m intimidated using the stroller all by myself because he tends to fuss in it unless he’s sleeping and I’m not quite ready to deal with a crying baby in public yet! And, I have to carry it down some stairs to get to the sidewalk. So, instead I pull out the sling that I bought by Blue Celery and find it a lot easier to manage. He loves being in there, and there is less stuff to worry about bringing. I try to take him out for short walks. I have to keep reminding myself to take it easy. I am still on pain killers, but by the end of the day I find that I’m in a lot of pain. We live in a town house and those three flights of stairs are starting to take their toll.

WEEK ONE

2009-07-17T10:20:00.000-07:00

Oliver was born on Monday and because I had a C-section I had to stay in the hospital until Thursday. I have to say that I’m very lucky to have such a wonderful husband. Because I wasn’t able to get out of bed due to the surgery and being hooked up to a catheder (it’s sooo weird not having to think about going to the bathroom) he ended up doing a lot of the dirty work, such as changing those first nasty meconium diapers.

They really do leave your baby next to you in a bassinet 24/7. Gone are the days where they cart your baby away so you can get some much needed rest after labor. There is no grace period of slowly getting to know how to be a parent, you really are thrust into the thick of things. I know that not all fathers stay over night with their partners (my neighbor in the room for example) so I felt incredible lucky to have a husband who was willing to sleep in a very uncomfortable chair to keep me company and offer support emotionally and physically as we both got to know our new son.

We were very lucky that our little newborn wasn’t a screamer when he cried. He would whimper like a little lamb. We discovered that by sticking a finger in his mouth to suck on calmed him immediately.

As I mentioned before breast feeding didn’t go so well. He had a quivering lower jaw (which some of the nurses believed was from the forceps that were used during delivery) and there for had a hard time keeping a latch. And trust me…we tried…and tried…I had many people trying to shove my baby onto my breast. No joke they really do shove! We then decided that I would pump and feed him out of a cup. That way he would at least get the colostrum. By luck of the draw I had this noisy pump that would make this ‘clu-clunk’ sound while pumping…I had to laugh as I sat in the dark at night hunched over pumping feeling like a cow. ‘clu-clunk, clu-clunk’.

In the end we were finger feeding him formula as he was a little jaundice and had lost a bit too much weight.

During the whole hospital experience I have to say that the nurses were INCREDIBLE, despite the whole breastfeeding thing. They work long days and don’t have to be as nice as they are. They took really good care of us.

But…was I happy to get out of there and bring Oliver home!

I don’t think that I actually nested until we got home. Running on adrenaline, when Oliver was sleeping My husband and I rearranged our house like crazy people cleaning and making it more baby friendly. Those first nights we were so deliriously tired we would just start laughing uncontrollably at anything. All time disappeared. We realized this when we finally managed to give Oliver his first bath at 2 in the morning!

We found that he didn’t like sleeping in his crib, so he would sleep in the playpen downstairs with me lying on the couch beside him. We received a sleep sheep (or lamby to us) and it’s his new best friend. He loves the sound of the rain setting and it helps him to fall asleep almost immediately. When I happened to find out that he would sleep longer if I was holding him while lying on the couch…well, I jumped all over that opportunity of course!

I also found out that my baby spits up…A LOT! Hence the reason he is always wearing a bib…day and night.

At this point he would sleep for about 2-3 hours at a time, and then wake up to eat. He slept a lot during this first week.

Things I found I didn’t have enough of when I came home?

-bibs

-receiving blankets

-swaddling blankets

Because I didn’t have enough of these things I was constantly doing laundry!

MEET OLIVER

2009-07-16T12:27:00.000-07:00

I am happy to be sharing with you the many joys, trials and tribulations and milestones of my baby Oliver.

He was born on May 11th 2009 at 2:08pm. Forty-eight hours from the time my water broke. Yes…48 hours. My water broke while I was eating a Big Mac. Now, I don’t have McDonalds very often, but when I do I really enjoy it. So can you see my dilemma? Well luckily I was at home with my husband at the time so I finished my Big Mac (wouldn’t you? I was hungry!) got my bag and we headed to the hospital. We had to go right away even though I wasn’t having contractions as I had GBS and needed antibiotic.

*Something they don’t tell you – when your water breaks, it keeps on gushing until you have the baby. Luckily a girl friend of mine had given me a pack of Depends. I had laughed at the thought of them before, but I’m telling every one of you who read this, do not go to the hospital without depends. It will save you from having to use those nasty hospital pads!

I’ll spare you all the details, but after 48 hours of some mild contractions and only reaching eight cm dilation, it was discovered that my baby’s head was facing upright and could not be turned manually so we decided to go ahead with a C-section.

I don’t think I will ever forget having a C-section. It was the most bizarre experience I think I’ll have in my life. All the doctors and nurses where chatting away which in a way was comforting because it made you realize how routine this was for them. But, at the same time I wanted to say ‘Hellooo notice me. I’m about to have a baby for goodness sakes!! Never done this before! Could use some reassurance!’

It all happens very fast (10 minutes!) It doesn’t hurt, so you don’t need to worry about that (well not until later when the freezing wears off). I felt incredible pressure on my stomach as the doctors pushed and prodded to get him out. The elation that came when they pulled him out… I can’t even write what it was like. If you have a child you know what I’m talking about. If your having one, all I can say is that this is the moment that makes those long nine months worth it. I think my husband put it best saying that it is at that moment that all ego goes out the window.

Oliver weighed eight pounds exactly at birth and despite a little jaundice was perfectly healthy.

Something that I learned very quickly about having a baby, is that you can plan how you want everything to go until your blue in the face, but at the end of the day your baby is your new boss, so you better get use to being able to adjust to him.

For example:

-I wanted to have a natural birth and ended up having an epidural AND a C-section.

-I wanted to breast feed. That went out the window after many tears on both our parts. I am now bottle feeding formula. For those of you who are able to breast feed I commend you! For those of you who don’t want to breastfeed – or can’t – please repeat after me ‘I am NOT a bad mother!’ You will be made to feel guilty in the hospital by many nurses. When my husband returned the pump to the hospital he felt inclined to lie and tell the nurse that breast feeding was going great in order to avoid the evil eye!

-I said I would never have the baby sleeping in bed with me. Well, when you are used to getting eight to 10 hours of sleep a night and are now getting sleep in two-hour intervals... you get desperate. I slept on the couch with Oliver for the first two to three weeks of his life because it's the only way I was going to get any sleep. And yes…he even slept in our bed one night.

The moral of all of this: Plan as you may but keep an open mind to other possibilities.